It’s Saturday, and there’s an event happening nearby, which means every Airbnb host in the area is fully booked. I’d just handed over my units to two guests and was done for the day.

Then a call came in. A woman wanted to book a unit. I explained we were full. She asked if I had a referral.

My heart sank a little. This wasn’t the first time a referral had gone wrong for me. But the host I had in mind had sent me plenty of clients before, and I figured it was time to return the favor. So I shared the unit.

She liked it, paid a 1,000 KES deposit, and told me she’d check in at 3pm.

At 4pm, she called. No electricity.

I called the host. He promised to look into it. 7pm came, still no power, and I was starting to panic. Remember, there was an event in town, which meant every other host was fully booked too. I searched for a backup unit anyway and found one, only to find out someone else had paid for it faster than I could confirm it.

So we were back to square one: the unit without power.

My guest gave me a deadline, she was heading out but would be back by 9pm, and she expected power to be on by then. I promised I’d do everything I could. I called the host back and forth; he wasn’t always picking up. Finally he confirmed power was back. I sent my cleaner to verify. It was true.

My guest’s bags were already in the house. I thought it was finally handled, and I went to sleep.

I woke up to three messages. She’d come back at 2am to find someone else had already moved into the house.

Her tone wasn’t angry, it was resigned, like she’d already accepted it. That hit harder than anger would have. My first thought wasn’t about the booking, it was where did she end up sleeping? She never called me.

I apologized and told her clearly: this didn’t reflect who I am as a host. I’d given the referral in good faith, trusting the other host would take care of her the way I would have. I told her I’d get her money back and offer her a discount on her next stay, even though she hadn’t asked for either.

That silence after a guest stops asking for anything is its own kind of warning. It usually means they’ve already written you off. I didn’t want to be remembered that way.

I called the unit owner. He acted just as surprised as he had about the power outage, but he refunded the money, and I sent it straight to her. I told her that whenever she needed a place to stay, she should call me directly, and I’d make sure she got a discount.

She replied: “Thank you for everything. I’ll be sure to reach out to you next time.”

That one message meant more to me than it probably should have. I’d spent the whole situation asking myself one question: if this were me, what would I want someone to do? It’s tempting to go quiet when something’s gone wrong and you’re not sure the other host will even cooperate on the refund. But my guest had been wronged, and it wasn’t her fault. The least I could do was fight for her money and offer something back.

Two things I want other hosts to take from this:

If you’re the one receiving a referral, treat that guest like they’re your own, because someone’s reputation is riding on how you treat them, not just yours.

And if you’re the guest on the receiving end of a bad referral: it’s not a reflection of the host who sent you. We don’t always know what we’re handing someone into.

The part I still don’t have a clear answer for

A referral is a gamble. You’re vouching for someone you don’t fully control. And it’s tempting to refer the host nobody else wants to deal with, just because you personally haven’t had a problem with them yet, only to find out later exactly why everyone else was avoiding them. I don’t have a tidy solution to that one. I just know I’m a lot more careful now about who I vouch for.

Have you ever had a referral blow up on you, as the host, or the guest? I’d love to hear how you handled it.